Tuesday, January 18, 2011


It’s a new year. Out with the old and in with the new. Many of us have made resolutions that were broken two weeks into the new year, or that we are well on our way to backsliding on. I’ve never been really big on resolutions. Maybe that‘s because ever since I was a child, I’ve been hearing that most people break them. It’s almost a cliché. And so I figured there was never a point to making them, other than to tell ourselves or the world that we want to make a change. We have identified that there is something “wrong” with us that needs fixing-something that we have full control over, but have been too busy, lazy, or fearful to take control of. So now, as the new year begins, we resolve to buckle down or take the bull by the horns, or whatever it is that we make up in our minds to do. We are ready to face our challenges head on and do what we know it will take to get the job done or to accomplish our goals. We are ready to make a fresh start and take control of our lives, our careers, our weight, our destinies. We create a plan and set it in motion.

As I thought about resolutions and wrestled with how to accomplish all of the things that I already know that I want, intend and/or “need” to do (because it’s actually the same stuff that has been hanging around since last year-and maybe even the year before, but that’s another story), I became really clear about one thing. My “struggle” hasn’t been in doing too much of one thing or not enough of another. It isn’t even a lack of commitment. My struggle has been in my resistance to surrender. And, I do not think that I am alone.

We get so caught up in what we think we know, or in judging ourselves for what we think that we “should” know, that we won’t allow ourselves to surrender. We plot, strategize, schedule and calculate our way into being successful, but we often find ourselves unsatisfied with the results. We have to fail over and over again, only to start the cycle again the next year. We think that if we let go and allow ourselves to be divinely inspired that we aren’t taking enough action to get to where we want to be. We aren’t pushing ourselves hard enough. It never occurs to us that all of the good stuff happens when we just sit still and allow; following in the path that is set before us. We mistakenly believe that surrender is an admission of weakness or apathy, so we instead wrestle with resistance to what is and use force to get us the results that we desire. But, surrender is not weakness and it certainly isn’t laziness. It’s an acknowledgment of a Source greater than ourselves; a Source that knows the fastest and smoothest way to get from point A to point B. And, as I sat with these thoughts, I heard a voice say, “start with the basics.” And the basics is simply knowing what I want and where I want to be; giving up the belief that I know best about how to get there.

And this is where I am, today. My prayer is, “I know nothing. Teach me.” I am unlearning the habit of making something happen and truly coming to understand that it isn’t about committing myself to more or better activity. It is about allowing myself to be inspired and following the path of that inspiration. All else is like the thrashing about of a drowning man; and there is no need to drown. I can float.

-This Post was written by Angie G.