It’s a new year. Out with the old and in with the new. Many of us have made resolutions that were broken two weeks into the new year, or that we are well on our way to backsliding on. I’ve never been really big on resolutions. Maybe that‘s because ever since I was a child, I’ve been hearing that most people break them. It’s almost a cliché. And so I figured there was never a point to making them, other than to tell ourselves or the world that we want to make a change. We have identified that there is something “wrong” with us that needs fixing-something that we have full control over, but have been too busy, lazy, or fearful to take control of. So now, as the new year begins, we resolve to buckle down or take the bull by the horns, or whatever it is that we make up in our minds to do. We are ready to face our challenges head on and do what we know it will take to get the job done or to accomplish our goals. We are ready to make a fresh start and take control of our lives, our careers, our weight, our destinies. We create a plan and set it in motion.
As I thought about resolutions and wrestled with how to accomplish all of the things that I already know that I want, intend and/or “need” to do (because it’s actually the same stuff that has been hanging around since last year-and maybe even the year before, but that’s another story), I became really clear about one thing. My “struggle” hasn’t been in doing too much of one thing or not enough of another. It isn’t even a lack of commitment. My struggle has been in my resistance to surrender. And, I do not think that I am alone.
We get so caught up in what we think we know, or in judging ourselves for what we think that we “should” know, that we won’t allow ourselves to surrender. We plot, strategize, schedule and calculate our way into being successful, but we often find ourselves unsatisfied with the results. We have to fail over and over again, only to start the cycle again the next year. We think that if we let go and allow ourselves to be divinely inspired that we aren’t taking enough action to get to where we want to be. We aren’t pushing ourselves hard enough. It never occurs to us that all of the good stuff happens when we just sit still and allow; following in the path that is set before us. We mistakenly believe that surrender is an admission of weakness or apathy, so we instead wrestle with resistance to what is and use force to get us the results that we desire. But, surrender is not weakness and it certainly isn’t laziness. It’s an acknowledgment of a Source greater than ourselves; a Source that knows the fastest and smoothest way to get from point A to point B. And, as I sat with these thoughts, I heard a voice say, “start with the basics.” And the basics is simply knowing what I want and where I want to be; giving up the belief that I know best about how to get there.
And this is where I am, today. My prayer is, “I know nothing. Teach me.” I am unlearning the habit of making something happen and truly coming to understand that it isn’t about committing myself to more or better activity. It is about allowing myself to be inspired and following the path of that inspiration. All else is like the thrashing about of a drowning man; and there is no need to drown. I can float.
-This Post was written by Angie G.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thursday, December 9, 2010
WHAT ARE WE SO WORRIED ABOUT?
It’s so easy to worry. There’s global warming, wars being waged, and children starving. There is much to focus on in the global community. A little closer to home, we worry about family, personal relationships, career and debt. But does worrying truly serve a purpose? Of course, we must acknowledge the things that we consider to be wrong so that we can make the adjustments necessary to improve those conditions. But when we take these issues on as a reason to worry, we are not in the business of creating solutions. We are just feeling bad for the sake of having a bad feeling.
Somehow, we have adopted the belief that worrying about problems means that we truly care about something. We even judge others when we determine that they aren’t worrying enough. We believe that when things are not going well, the appropriate response is to feel bad. This belief runs so deep for some of us that even when we don’t care about a particular issue, we feel compelled to work up some negative emotion. We will put on the sad face and give the requisite, “Awwww, how sad!” in response to the news that a friend has ended a dysfunctional relationship that has outlasted its usefulness. We exclaim, "How terrible!" and sigh heavily when we hear that a family member has lost a job that we know they hated. Why? We make it mean something that we can commiserate and share in the suffering. We mistakenly believe that it makes us “good” people; that we are kind and sympathetic.
When we feel powerless to positively impact a situation, we choose worry and sadness as our contribution. We go all in and get lost in the negative emotion because it is familiar to us. It is our way to act without taking action. We are not empowered and we fail to empower others.
Of course, “bad” things are happening in the world. Sometimes, “bad” things happen to us and to our loved ones. It is during these times, that we may want to consider taking a step back before we choose worry as our reaction. We may want to ask ourselves what would be our truest intention. Is it to feel bad for the sake of feeling bad or are we simply acknowledging our feelings before moving into positive action? Is it to offer authentic support to a friend in need or do we just want to give the appearance of caring? Or, are we worrying because we feel powerless to do little else? When we choose to react to life’s unpleasant events from a place of pure intention, we allow ourselves the freedom to genuinely express caring. And it is through this authentic expression that we empower ourselves and others.
Somehow, we have adopted the belief that worrying about problems means that we truly care about something. We even judge others when we determine that they aren’t worrying enough. We believe that when things are not going well, the appropriate response is to feel bad. This belief runs so deep for some of us that even when we don’t care about a particular issue, we feel compelled to work up some negative emotion. We will put on the sad face and give the requisite, “Awwww, how sad!” in response to the news that a friend has ended a dysfunctional relationship that has outlasted its usefulness. We exclaim, "How terrible!" and sigh heavily when we hear that a family member has lost a job that we know they hated. Why? We make it mean something that we can commiserate and share in the suffering. We mistakenly believe that it makes us “good” people; that we are kind and sympathetic.
When we feel powerless to positively impact a situation, we choose worry and sadness as our contribution. We go all in and get lost in the negative emotion because it is familiar to us. It is our way to act without taking action. We are not empowered and we fail to empower others.
Of course, “bad” things are happening in the world. Sometimes, “bad” things happen to us and to our loved ones. It is during these times, that we may want to consider taking a step back before we choose worry as our reaction. We may want to ask ourselves what would be our truest intention. Is it to feel bad for the sake of feeling bad or are we simply acknowledging our feelings before moving into positive action? Is it to offer authentic support to a friend in need or do we just want to give the appearance of caring? Or, are we worrying because we feel powerless to do little else? When we choose to react to life’s unpleasant events from a place of pure intention, we allow ourselves the freedom to genuinely express caring. And it is through this authentic expression that we empower ourselves and others.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL
DAILY STRUGGLE:
During a spurt of bad PMS, I asked God why I feel as if I am spinning my wheels, as if I am striving to get somewhere but can never quite reach it. I put my head down in frustration and almost immediately I heard, “Look what you have already created. You wanted to buy a place when you changed jobs, and you did that. You wanted a new car within a year, and you did that. You wanted to move into a place surrounded by windows and trees and have outdoor spaces, and you did that. You wanted to move positions in your job and to change locations, and now you’ve done that; you even have a big office with big windows and NO ONE there! You’ve created exactly what you desired.”
And, I thought about that. In my pity, it came to me that “spinning my wheels” was more about me perpetuating my own unhappiness by not fully appreciating what I have created. I use the guise that “I am always striving to be better, to become more, I can’t get complacent…” but I came to understand in those thoughts that the only way that I will create more of what I want is to be relaxed in what I have already created.
Now “relaxed” may seem to be a curious word, why not “appreciative”, or “thankful”? Well, I am coming to realize that I have to relax my mind into accepting my successes, whatever they are right now. I have to relax my body into the belief that I can and will create more of what I want. I have to relax my emotions by recognizing that everyday is not going to feel the best and even in that, my past and present creations are not meaningless.
I said to myself this morning, “If I had my house on the hill with lots of windows and I was touring, delivering my God-given message, I wouldn’t feel like this, I’d be happy.” I had to check myself with the thought that during travel, I may miss my family, or I may find myself lonely from time-to-time. And, that’s when I realized that it’s not geography, it’s not partnership, it’s not circumstances, it is simply a matter of relaxing; at least for today. ;-)
By Alisa
During a spurt of bad PMS, I asked God why I feel as if I am spinning my wheels, as if I am striving to get somewhere but can never quite reach it. I put my head down in frustration and almost immediately I heard, “Look what you have already created. You wanted to buy a place when you changed jobs, and you did that. You wanted a new car within a year, and you did that. You wanted to move into a place surrounded by windows and trees and have outdoor spaces, and you did that. You wanted to move positions in your job and to change locations, and now you’ve done that; you even have a big office with big windows and NO ONE there! You’ve created exactly what you desired.”
And, I thought about that. In my pity, it came to me that “spinning my wheels” was more about me perpetuating my own unhappiness by not fully appreciating what I have created. I use the guise that “I am always striving to be better, to become more, I can’t get complacent…” but I came to understand in those thoughts that the only way that I will create more of what I want is to be relaxed in what I have already created.
Now “relaxed” may seem to be a curious word, why not “appreciative”, or “thankful”? Well, I am coming to realize that I have to relax my mind into accepting my successes, whatever they are right now. I have to relax my body into the belief that I can and will create more of what I want. I have to relax my emotions by recognizing that everyday is not going to feel the best and even in that, my past and present creations are not meaningless.
I said to myself this morning, “If I had my house on the hill with lots of windows and I was touring, delivering my God-given message, I wouldn’t feel like this, I’d be happy.” I had to check myself with the thought that during travel, I may miss my family, or I may find myself lonely from time-to-time. And, that’s when I realized that it’s not geography, it’s not partnership, it’s not circumstances, it is simply a matter of relaxing; at least for today. ;-)
By Alisa
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